Hoosier Dad

October 13, 2008

Weekender Wrapper

Filed under: Junior,This Old House,Wife — molokopluss @ 7:18 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Per my inquisitive neighbor, the folks who came to look at our house on Thursday drove up, look one look, and drove off.    Hearing that did wonders for our hopes and dreams of getting rid of the pit once and for all,  LET ME TELL YA!!!

First of all, do they not realize how big of a pain in the ass it is to clear out of your house with an hours notice?  Wife and I were both at work, and we literally had 15 minutes at home before they were scheduled to walk through.   I find that a bit disrespectful, and if I knew them I would yank them back by their head and deliver a throat punch or two.

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So anyways, the folks two houses down the street were in rare form Saturday AM.   2:45am, to be exact.   I was sleeping peacefully when I hear a damn domestic disturbance.   Two guys yelling back and forth in their methneck slang 30 feet from our bedroom window.  

Guy 1:   “Come on ya damn faggitt!!!”

Guy 2:  “Come on pussy!    FUCK YOU!”

Guy 1: “I ain’t scared of you!”

Guy 2: “Get back here, where you goin’?”

Guy 1:  “BRING IT!   I’M GOING TO KILL YOU FAGGIIITTTT!”

Ding, ding, ding.      This was enough for Wife to grab the phone and call the cops.   I venture to the front door to get a closer look.  By this time, Guy 1 had charged and grabbed his opponent by the shirt.  Guy 2 is swinging wildly in the glow of the street light, maybe connecting once or twice.  MAYBE.    They were both visible stumbling around and were definitely under the influence of something.   After this brief scrum I think they took a beer break. 

Seriously.  

After about a minute they both swagger back out into the street for round 2.  This time Miss Meth, who actually lives in the house two down, is out to try and break it up.   

Oh, and still no police.  NICE. 

They have another round of “Fagggooot!” and “PUSSY!” and the fight resumes.   Another brief melee.   This time, it ends with Guy 2 throwing two kids in his beat up Olds 88 and driving off.  

The End.    

The cops did show up but too late to break them up.  Guy 1, Miss Meth and her other kids, who came out as the second skirmish was wrapping up, had gone back inside shortly after the getaway.  

I (heart) my neighborhood.

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After Wife gave birth to Junior 4.5 months ago we were looking forward to getting back into the swing of our normal regimen of sexual activity.   We were a 4 times a week couple before she got preggers.  We ha d a very healthy physical relationship.    7 years of marriage and we still dug it…  a lot.  

Post-preggers and post-healing we have been trying to get back into it, but pregnancy really laid waste to her body, more so that other post pregger folks I have had the pleasure of having carnal knowledge of in the past.  

Stretch marks.   Her stomach looks like it has a weird dark Van Gogh painting of flames on it.  The sides of her stomach sag, badly.    

The Zone.   Somehow, the doctor actually TIGHTENED her.   I always thought it would be different, but not in that way.  It is downright painful sometimes for her because of the stretching, and prohibits us from enjoying our favorite positions.  IT SUCKS, and it makes her very hesitant to jump my needy bones. 

Anyways, this weekend we said screw it, we are not going to let this probit us.    I told her maybe all we need to do is stretch that area out again, and I had the perfect plan.   Needless to say we had fun, and seemed to almost be back to our old selves in the sack. 

EUREKA! 

 

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